When I signed up the WordPress.com was probably four years ago. If I’ve played around it and started writing my blog then, it would have been just like brushing teeth to put a new post. I didn’t, and I’ve been through quite a bit of change. So now it feels almost like someone who is trying to use the computer for the first time without knowing what to do. I’ll take one step at a time. I’m all about one foot forward. That’s all I need to focus on when things are too overwhelming.
Writing became much easier and more peaceful than phone conversation probably since I went back to school. I didn’t have time to chat with people on the phone, time to eat, or time to sleep. The only stress relief was three or four days a week of step aerobics which was one habit I kept for years. If I talked to someone, it would be unpredictable how long the talk would take place. So, writing emails became such a convenient method to keep in touch with people. Nowadays, I don’t do that well even and I’ll visit the reason later.
I wonder why I didn’t want to do the blog sooner. It comes with all sorts of energy, that’s part of my challenge for the last few years. Now, I’ve done quite a bit of spiritual learning in the past few years, so I have a pretty good idea of energies. The thing about this so called energy is not simple. It is as complex as biochemistry or physics. The more you learn, the more you find something deeper. As I became aware of the spiritual realm, my experiences change and the new experience takes me to the new learning. If it’s once a year, that’s something, but it’s one after another. Sometimes, I feel like I just want to sleep for good. So, it’s just like studying in college.
I used to be very computer oriented. That wasn’t too long ago, till three years ago. I even did some tech jobs till then. First time I started to have some fear about computer experience was probably two years ago. When I was reading an email from a friend, as soon as I read her writing, I physically sensed and visually, yet invisibly saw some white fog of matter came out of the computer screen, and it split in half right in front of me, then attacked my heart chakra, front and back. It was scary and physically painful that I had to fall off from the chair and crunching down on the floor. After that experience, I started to be more and more skeptical of emails and computer.
I learned some tools to manage doing emailing but I prefer not to use computer much. I took down all the social network accounts which I probably had several. I was very active online once. I don’t have the same experience I had with emails, but I now seem to be experiencing my new awareness or learning. This is pretty inconvenient but I’m convinced that if it’s showing up visibly, it probably means that I’m working on it whatever it means.
This new one is like this. When I used computer, the energies coming through computer or online network start saturating my chakras from throat chakra, then heart chakra, third, sixth and fourth. Whatever it is, often I have to shut down the computer because it starts to be physically painful. Of course, I have to do the comprehensive energy clean up after using the computer. It’s quite inconvenient, but I don’t think I can completely take computer out of my life.
Writing a blog is the same thing. I don’t quite feel great as I type in here. I think this was the main reason now for not writing. A friend who is a wonderful healer and teacher has been telling me that this is something to do with my past life in Atlantis. I only know Atlantis was something to do with highly advanced in technology and also it ended in destruction from it. I only know that I probably have a past life from Atlantis, but that’s all I sense. Still, I’m not quite sure why I get like this by using computer now. I’m sure it’s hard to imagine what it’s like, but every time I experience this, I have a picture of oxygen saturation in the lung or pneumonia. At least, this experience doesn’t seem to come with emotional pains or maybe it’s not showing up yet. So, I’m taking it one little step at a time. Writing to this blog is a huge step.
Although it’s hard to imagine who would benefit from my writing, maybe some people might get insight from it. Who knows? So if you’re willing to listen to my journey of self discovery, awareness, healing and spirituality, I hope you can enjoy the ride.