I thought we were just celebrating the last year to pass and the new year to land. It’s way passed the new year. :*( I love welcoming the new year thingy. Well, I’ll wait till the next welcoming time then! Anywho, I have to say that this new year 2015 has brought me the new stuff from the day one. Can you give me some break or anything, eh? It’s not that I’m so enlightened and not that I don’t feel any pains or anything.. So, I will write about the life’s lesson we need to learn today. In other words, “What We Need to Learn, We Need to Learn.”
My new year 2015 has started with the sore experiences at my night job of course. How else, do I learn my lessons, right? I do healing as my intended work and I think that’s a very limited option for my life lesson environment maybe. I’ll try not to be too specific but detailed enough to make the point. I have a coworker who brings in a hard energy for me from the beginning. I never doubted that this individual was a challenge for me. For, this individual carries the very much the energy I have avoided for life since I moved to the US. It’s the Japan energy; the old calcified Japanese energy. For the people who might not be aware, I’m a Japanese immigrant on surface. I was born and raised in Japan, but for whatever the reasons, I ended up migrating to the US almost two decades ago.
I never had this crisp clear view of what I had been avoiding for years. I just knew that I seemed to have developed some allergic reaction to Japanese and its culture early on. So, my life experience since I moved to the US has been probably quite different from someone who is from Japan is my guess. Anyhow, fast rewind, my coworker represents my deceased dad I believe. I don’t have a good memory of the direct interaction with my dad, but I believe that I was influenced by observing largely how he interacted with my mom and sis since I was born. Or I should say that I was influenced by observing how my mom was affected by my dad’s behavior since I was in her womb. Let me make this clear but I could finally forgive my dad when I started my spiritual work, so I don’t have a sore feeling toward him at this point thankfully.
The thing is though, no matter how much we forgive someone, the energy we held in the past in our energy field is still there. If forgiving someone can remove all the related energy, that would be so cool!! But, it doesn’t seem to work that way. So, obviously I have some really dense energy accumulated since I was introduced to this physical world for this life time. How do I get to release them? How do I ever get those energy when I don’t have awareness of it? Well, people bring in the similar energy in my life and I then would recognize my energetic reaction to it. So, here comes my coworker who carries the solidified version of Japan energy.
In the beginning, it wasn’t logical but my fear was surfacing. Along the line, my fear was removed and my rebellious Naomi started to surface. After a while, I stood like a Spartan (I just love that move 300, so bear with me). I thought I completed my terms with this energy and the person, but 2015 brought another series of attack from this person. It gets old sometimes when things just don’t evolve and pains persist. I’m not volunteering to be a battered woman for God’s sake.
The thing is, though, my lessons and learning are my responsibility. The other’s lessons and learning are the responsibility of other’s. So, at this point, I see that the other person is not evolving. So, his behavior and reaction toward me probably won’t change. How can I be neutral when someone is acting like a sick psychic and channeling the nasty energy into my space? Here is where I have to pay attention to my old buried energy from my upbringing. I’m not neutral because I have this unconscious energy in my energy field. So, my job, my responsibility to myself is to become aware of it and remove as much as I can.
When I was thinking about this while meditating, I thought it was not fair. Why do I have to suffer for what my dad might have done the damage on me early on in my life? It’s like being punished for what I didn’t create even. Then, as I meditate, I did see the bigger picture of this. If I didn’t have this type of energy buried in my energy field, I didn’t choose my dad to be my dad from the first place. He was there to introduce the base in this life for me so that I could work on removing the buried energy from many many past lives. Then, my fear, soreness, resistance toward this setting have moved forward. I will not say that all my emotions toward this setting is all gone and I’m so “bring it on!” because it’s just not easy! But, that’s how we all take our learning journey and lessons in this and many life times.
So, my question to you is that if you can see something deeper than the surface in your environment. If someone is bringing the difficulty into your plate, why is that person bringing it to your plate? Is there any pattern from your past? Is there anything you didn’t even bring your awareness to it? I can’t speak of you, so this is something you have to dig. Of course, you can get assistance from the spiritual workers if you wish. There is a reason we have such helpers, so why not utilize it, right? I do all the time.
Oh, forget not the amusement especially when you’re working on the tough stuff! Amusement makes things lighter and helps you not to bring in heavy energy while working on the heavy energy. I think I’ll still say Happy New Year since I like saying it. I might say it till my birthday next month. Well, silly goose helps my amusement, too.
Lots of love to you from moi 🙂