I just came out of the meditation and cleared dense energy which was completely different matter than I thought it was. When I opened my eyes, I wanted to write a blog about it. Because this clearing process occurred because of someone, I again will name this post as “Thank your enemy.” A few years ago, I wrote the post about this topic (Thank Your Enemy?), so I named it as part 2.
I’ll try to give you the summary of the background, so it makes sense for you about this clearing I had to do. I was sort of seeing someone starting from the beginning of this year. It wasn’t what I expected nor hoped for, but it came from the other party. Normally, I would pant it because that’s what I’d been doing since I became single years ago. The reason I didn’t pant this was because I could clearly see that this person showed up so that I could clear my dad’s energy in my space.
Every thing about this person was totally not my style: he smokes, he drinks, he seems to be ok with recreational drugs, etc. Maybe these are not so big deal for others, but it is for me. My dad was a heavy smoker to the point that the house I grew up had a brown wall which was at first a while wall. On top of that, my dad was a serious alcoholic. Ever since I have memory of my childhood, my family was heavily affected by his drinking behavior. I used to drink till probably ten years ago, but I cold quit because my workout started to become such an important part of my life and I didn’t like the heaviness of my body when I was at the gym after drinking the day before. So, social drink probably doesn’t bug me much, but this one seems to drink much more than social.
I like people who are kind and gentle. This person was blunt and bold to the point that sometimes it’s rather rude. I can name all the qualities of this person which was out of my style, but the bottom line, he asked me to see each other out of the blue. I resisted big time for a while because everything was screaming to be out of my norm. Though, as I get some insights from my healer classmates and my teacher, I realized that maybe it was worth giving it a shot so that I could heal myself.
Then when I stopped resisting and became open to see where this might go, I realized that I was blocking and protecting myself from any relationship up till this point, which I had no awareness of it. Since I’m a healer and I always work on myself, so my healees can benefit from my learning and wisdom, I thought this whatever relationship would subside after I cleared my dad’s energy in my space. Though, it didn’t seem to subside. So, when I realized about my protection around relationships, I then realized that this person helped me to bring awareness so that I could start removing all the frozen energy around my previous marriage. So, I did.
To be honest, I don’t even know where this whatever thing between me and this person is at, but for sure it’s not like a relationship I can imagine. I hardly ever see this person. There isn’t much conversation or almost nothing. Still, since I’m an intuitive, I always ask if I could move on or not. So far, I hadn’t gotten “yes” on move on. The thing is, it’s almost like this individual doesn’t feed the fish he fished. So, I decided to do spirit to spirt conversation with him (without a physical conversation).
While I was doing that, the heavy energy started to occupy my chest, stomach and throat. As I clear those, I saw my dad’s grief, anger and control energy in my body. Then, I saw a picture of my dad’s image around women. My dad’s first wife left him and my sister when she was little. My dad’s grief, anger, and unspoken fueled anger was clearly shown. As a family healer even before I was born, I took on his grief and all to myself I believe. The thing is, this individual I was seeing has a matching picture. I don’t know too much about his background or dating history, but for sure he has a matching picture around women, probably starting from his parents. So, like attracts likes and because I had my dad’s picture and his emotions in my space, this individual’s picture and emotions got into my space. It was quite painful and took me for a while but I cleared pretty deeply tonight.
The thing is, I wish that we meet the nicest people in the world, the nicest girls/boys to be with, the nicest family to grow up with, etc., but that doesn’t happen sometimes. For, because those who bring us sore feelings, grief and resistance are there for us to clear the energy which is similar to theirs. They only show up in our lives because something has to heal through their presence. The sooner we can recognize and heal ourselves, we don’t have to bump into the same kind of people and same kind of experiences. So, as I said before in my previous blog, thank your enemy when people bring in difficulties in your life. I’m not saying that you need to put up with an abuse. If you’re not safe or going upstream forever, choose a different stream and safe space rather. All I’m saying is that we bring people in, not the people come to us as a self service.
Maybe someday in the future I can give you the update on my whatever situation, but I had a spirit to spirit conversation and I want a freedom, respect, joy and love for myself. So, anything less than that, I’m willing to let go. Meanwhile, I’m grateful that this individual has been helping me to clear so much energy which wasn’t serving me and to bring up many awareness in me. So, thank your enemy. They only show up otherwise we are not willing to take a look at the energy in our space.