I was going to skip blogging this weekend, but the same topic keeps showing up from the morning. So, I’d better write about it! Today, I’m going to write about my family dynamics and what I learn again and again from it. It’s all about healing and changing ourselves but not necessarily others. It’s nothing to do with others changing.
My family lives in Japan and I’m basically singularly living in the US away from my original family. My dad has passed, so my mom who has Alzheimer’s lives in the city I grew up in and my sister also lives in the same city. So, when it comes to my mom’s matter, I have to rely on my sister. I do my best in the non-visible realm, but what matters to the most of the people is the visible matter. So, my sister has lots to carry. I wish I could help, but I’m thousands miles away across the ocean.
When my mom got the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s, I used all the spiritual healing tools to shift my family to move my mom out of the house to the group home. I visited them in order to do that. It wasn’t easy since I hadn’t associated with Japan or Japanese at that point, so it was literally doing things in the foreign country, i.e. Japan. Besides, my sister is the one who has to do the physical action. I have been taking the position of behind the scene advisor, meaning, energetically move things in order to make the physical matter happens. I probably haven’t gotten any credit for that, rather I probably have been accused of not doing things at all.
When my sister needed my help around my mom, things were quite all right. We have connected unlike it has ever been. A few years later after my mom has settled in the group care home, the intense need around my mom’s situation has dissipated. Then, the old, the history of my relationship with my sister started to surface more strongly.
My sister is a half sister, my dad’s. When she was little, her mom left my dad and my sister. When I found out about it as a kid, I empathized my sister and took it on. I gave all the excuses of my sister’s mean, bully behaviors toward me as she has a good reason to behave such. That’s the little kid me’s comprehension. As I grew older and do spiritual work on myself, I do see more than that. My sister’s situation was never my fault to start with and there is no reason for me to take responsibility of her wounds.
Since I’m a very sensitive intuitive, without communicating or hearing, I see and understand what’s going on with my sister. She has more and more soreness around me lately and she is very resentful of me. Even though I do love my sister and my mom, it’s never been easy for me to be around ever since I was little. It’s again getting like that especially this year. Funny thing is I live in Seattle, far from their breath. Still, I sense and feel the soreness heavily sit in my sister. I wish I could fix it but I can’t. I’ve tried many ways. I can’t change her. I can’t heal her wound because it’s not me to fix. It’s her wound.
It’s August and I wondered how my sister was doing. I, of course, wonder how my mom is doing. Though, I check with her spirt to spirt and I’m cool with my mom because I can connect with her spiritually. When I thought of emailing my sister, but I had this bitter feeling in my chest, I didn’t like it. So, I decided to do something around it without my sister involved. I then did the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono prayer meditation.
I have done the Ho’opnopono prayer around my sister many many times. Though, since I noticed the bitterness in me when I thought of her, I thought I could use it again. I closed my eyes and set my meditation tools. I placed a rose representing my sister and said to the rose, “I’m sorry.” Some heat was showing up around my chest. “I forgive you (in Ho’opnopono, it’s actually “Please forgive me” but I do differently on this).” Again, something stirred up on my third chakra. “I love you.” My throat was tight. “Thank you.” Again another heat showing up in my body. Then, I opened my eyes. I didn’t have the bitterness in my chest any more.
So, this was a reminder for me. When I feel sore about someone, no matter how wrongly that person might have been toward me and no matter how unreasonable someone might be, I can always work on myself. Instead of feeling angry, bitter, jealous, inferior, sad, etc., I can clear those feelings and energy from me, then I wouldn’t be lighting up from that person any more. Instead of wanting someone to behave differently and being hurt, I can change how I operate and feel. Love is much higher and stronger vibration than hate or anger. Forgiveness heals us more than anyone else.
If you ever have any sore feeling toward anyone or any situation, try the Hawaiian Ho’opnopono. You don’t have to know the details. Each mantra, as you can probably sense, has a deep energetic vibration. If you’re hurt, work on you to change the soreness. You don’t even have to deal with the person at this point. You can just do the work on yourself. It’s really amazing to know how much of our emotions are only stirred up from our own. The person who lights you up is just helping you to get rid of that energy from your space.
Choose to love yourself and all instead of vibrating low! ❤