Your Awareness Is A Tool

Happy Sunday! It’s Sunday before Thanksgiving! Instead of pondering what I would cook for Thanksgiving, I’m going to chill out and take a good care of myself! Sunday is a great day for that! I left my short term job this Monday, so my week should be flower blooming and blue sky weather. Though, I’ve been quite busy with invisible matter. On surface, it’s been unproductive physically, but I know there are whole a lot more than just physical level. So, I’m ok with that. My blog got delayed because of that. I’m going to write about something related to my recent experience. I decided to write about your awareness. Hence, the topic is “Your Awareness is a Tool!”

Before I left my short term job, I had this image or thought popping up here and there. It’s been on-going for a while. There is one classmate from a long time ago when I started to show up in my teacher’s intuitive school. He is a very talented channel, well maybe he would put as talented “reader.” Whatever he does, healings or reading, it ends up coming from his month, meaning verbally communicate to the receiver what he got. When I was new to this realm, I wasn’t really interested in developing my intuitive skills or wanting to be a psychic, I was seeking for the “answers” to my life. I got stuck in my career twice by then, stuck in people whom I thought I cared and loved including my work, so my needs of getting the answers to where I can go was so loud. I didn’t care clairvoyance or healings or etc. As a beginner verses this classmate who seemed to know his talents for a  while, I was like in awe.

Fast rewind the time, he was in the same clairvoyant program at first, but he left probably near the end of the first sequence. He disappeared from my teacher’s school for a  long time. Meanwhile, because I tend to function from the unknown wisdom in myself, I kept going through all the programs my teacher could offer. For I started to realize that I have such huge fear around this “spiritual” or “sixth sensory” realm. When my teacher suggested me to take the healing program right after the basic meditation programs have done, I was in huge resistance. I was a pre-med, trying to give up the passion to proceed in medicine. Healing the word “healer” was so unbearable. I was like “I’m no healer. I’m a drop out. Stop calling me ‘healer’!”

Well, of course, I had huge resistance so I kept going. It’s funny how it works around me because I have this strong “sense” or “voice” in me. I would call this as my “wise self” or “communication with my spirit self.” After the healing program was done, by the way, I was really not comfortable all the way, then my teacher offered clairvoyant program as a next step. I was like, “ai.. I’m just seeking the answers! I need solutions to my life’s major turning point. I’m not going to be a medium or psychic. What does it do to me?” Anyway, I didn’t say that to my teacher, but I said many things which were along the line of  “I’m not a clairvoyant person” or “I don’t think developing psychic tools are my thing,” etc.

The only reason I decided to take the program was because of my strong “fear.” I could tell that I have so much fear around it. Not that I wanted to find out what this “fear” was, but I knew that having any sort of such strong fears wouldn’t be good for me. At least, I had this innate connection with my “wise voice.” So, I kept going with what my wise self was guiding me I would say. I had a hell of time. I never ever say I enjoyed the program. It was hard. I was having a hard time. It’s not that the program is scary or bad. I must have had so much stuff in me which needed to be peeled off. It wasn’t even peeling off. It was like tornados after tornados ripping and clearing thing out of me every week for the next one year. I was having a hell in life by the way.

The part of me, though, no matter how resistant I was and no matter how it was so hard for me to be in this specific class, I had a sense of “I need to at least show up and meet in the half way,” in other words, “I need to do my part by showing up, then the rest of it would be taken cared by bigger power.”

So, I completed the program while my former classmate dropped out of the program. I don’t blame or judge for whatever people do including him decided to discontinue the program. For it was hell of time for me. Who know how it would feel like for others because everybody’s journey is different. Everybody works on his/her own stuff. No one’s stuff is never the same to another.

Well, you think completing clairvoyant program is the happy end, right? Not exactly. My fear around this realm and “clairvoyant” matter was gone thankfully. My teacher gently invited me to do the assistance role in the next new clairvoyant class. I was like, “Well…. I don’t know, Ginna. Don’t you have a better person to do it? Well… I’ll meditate on that and will let you know. Would that be ok?” That’s how I normally operate. Even when I have an initial resistance, I meditate on it and clear energy from me to get a clear connection with the “Source wisdom,” so I can get a clear answer for my step around things. Yeah.. I did take that role. In fact, I continued to take that role one program after another till my teacher moved to across the water this fall.

Why am I writing my spiritual learning journey? Well, the classmate who disappeared from the program started to show up around the time I started to have a vision of him showing up. He came to one clairvoyant graduate class to receive a reading. I was attending to that specific class that day. So, I was in that reading. Although in my view, the messages from the readings from multiple people there were crystal clear, he hasn’t quite completed his clairvoyant program. By the way, I’m not a pushy sales person to say that clairvoyant is everything. Though, there are certain things that clairvoyant program would help people and his soul’s journey is definitely in that case for sure.

Fast forward again, I started to have a vision again about this classmate. I was busy handling my daily life by adding the short term job on top of my Zumba gigs and my spiritual/healing practice, so I didn’t have much time to ponder. So, I asked the wisdom what this is all about. I got, “exchange.” So, I pondered. Then, I interpreted as “healing/reading exchange with this former classmate.”

Part of me was like, “well… I’m not sure if this is good energy exchange.” Though, I sort of don’t like things keep popping up and me not doing anything about it. If this isn’t a good call, rather it’s not a downstream move for me, normally things don’t run smoothly. So, either way, I would know. By now, I know how energy runs through my life and how my life tends to run through energy. So, I trusted that and went ahead and emailed him to throw an idea of exchanging healing/reading. He took the idea and we had the two exchange.

Ok, the introduction got really long, but that’s what’s going on between me and this person pretty much. Though, I think what happened was that his “wise self” or “Higher Self” was pinging me here and there because he needed something. What’s my part of exchange. Well, it was a so much work throughout this short two exchange we had, but I realized this morning that my vision, my clairvoyance is crystal clear than it’s been lately. By giving my part of readings/healings to him yesterday cleared my stuff pretty good. Yeah, I remember now that when you do readings to others, it also clears so much out of you as well. It’s very mutually beneficial.

I decided not to continue the exchange because the work around it takes so much time and work because of his state of spiritual awareness. journey. That’s ok, but I’m not really willing to have an extra work while I really need all my energy and focus on my priority matters.

As I look back the two short healing/reading exchange I had with him, I was crystal clear when his reading was questionable and when it might be something to ponder. If it was me before, let’s say if it was me during my initial clairvoyant class, I probably was just in the mess with all the energy and mixed messages coming in. By now, I realized when people say certain things which has some impurity, my senses and head put the dot on it and I start questioning. It’s like when you are washing vegetable, you discard what’s not good from a bunch, sort of like that. Well, it’s easy for me to say now after being more crystal clear without his energy in my space, but after receiving his readings in our first exchange, I was having a heck of time for a few days, though.

So, with all the long story combined, what I wanted to share with you is that you, yourself is a tool. Sure, I can teach you many many spiritual, energetic tools to help you navigate your daily life easier. That’s definitely useful and helpful tools. Though, the most important tool is you and your awareness. Unless you become a tool yourself, nothing really works for you so well. Even if you don’t exactly know what’s going on, as your awareness grows, you recognize things much quicker and easier (than it could have been without your present awareness).

With that, have a wonderful Sunday and lots of fun, love and gratitude on your Thanksgiving! 😀