I didn’t get to write much for the last few weeks, so I’ll write today, too! Last week was HARD! I mean seriously hard. I ground myself so many times a day, so I don’t get ungrounded much nowadays. However, I was so ungrounded and left my wallet widely opened at a coffee shop counter, started driving when the signal was still red (thank god there was no cars or people crossing), energy after energy visited me every day and night, dealing with different beings (spirits, entities, whatever you want to call) after beings, etc. I momentally wondered if I could continue my spiritual work. Anywho, but it’s all passed. I did healings, participated in healing clinic as a healer, did readings, got healings from another healer and even from my teacher! So, I’m back to normal (?).
I’m an empath healer. That doesn’t mean I do empath healing any more. I’m a very strong empath and a healer I should say. When I didn’t know I was so sensitive and an empath, I thought I was an anxiety prone person. I thought I had a public speaking phobia. When I was in college, every time I stood in front of the class and giving a speech, I started to shake and sometimes get teary. Now I look back, I was probably sensing all the people in the class’ feelings. Some must have been nervous, some must have been fearful. I hated going in front of people because I thought I had a problem. Well, I do in a way, but it’s different than what I thought I had.
When I realized that I was an empath was not too long ago. I spent majority of my life not knowing it, so it was not easy. I was in the meeting and we were reading the book round tables. I noticed that my heart started to pump faster and felt somewhat agitated. So, I thought I was nervous about reading the book in front of people. Then, I realized that it only happens when this particular guy was reading the book. As long as the turn passed him, I felt normal. Then, I wondered if I might be feeling what this guy was feeling. Or rather, I might have been experiencing what this guy was experiencing: heart pumping faster, agitated, anxious, etc. That was the first awareness of myself as an empath.
Since then, my journey was quite easier because I knew what I was looking for. I needed to find some solution to cope with it. I needed to find more about myself. Luckily I met my teacher. I’m really fortunate because this teacher’s school teaches healings and clairvoyant classes in the whole system. She would not just teach healing. It starts from the every single tools you need in life because whatever healing or reading you do, I’m sure it works great. It’s the healers or readers who need to learn about themselves and learn about skills along with it. Anyway, nowadays, I don’t really look for any other place to fill in other techniques because I really believe I got what I need and I’ll get what I need.
When I started to take the clairvoyant class, I was in tears every time I did readings. Well, actually I was in tears even after graduating. For, like I said I’m a very strong empath, so I’m super sensitive. I sense people even without knowing that I would meet that person today. So, every time I did readings, no matter how bad or wrong they may appear in the physical form, I could hear, know, feel their spiritual intent and feelings. Often times, lots of toxic people have such overwhelming grief or pains, etc. Then, as soon as the readees ask about, let’s say their grandma or dad, mom, etc., I get bombarded by so much emotions and information from them. It’s much easier nowadays because I got lots of experiences.
Still, I cried during the reading this Saturday actually. The readee probably wasn’t crying because her surface was pretty stoic which is ok. As I say all the time, looks and surface are different from the actual inside. I won’t get into too much of the details about the reading I did because it was quite out there. However, the grief and sadness of the readee’s were so deep and strong. It was from hundreds of thousands of years, from so many life times including this life time. I’m a straight shooter, so I have no filter (according to my teacher). So, I spell things out and I was telling this readee that there was no way she could save her partner. The readee’s partner was very dark. It’s not depressed dark, but light and dark darkness and I didn’t see any light at all for this individual at this point.
Telling the readee about that wasn’t that hard because I read people with very neutral space. Though, telling her to forgive herself for not being able to and let go of wanting to save what she can’t save was rough because we probably were very similar in that way. She was an empath to the point that she probably wasn’t living her life. No matter how dark, how bad, how evil things can be, people can be, beings can be, entities can be, there is a huge grief in letting them sink. That’s the hardest part for me as an empath and I’m sure it was for her. So, I could feel her so strongly and I was vibrating the same way. So, I was tearing up. She asked if the tears were her “grief.” So, I said, “pretty much yes.”
I used to hate crying, but I careless nowadays. What is is what is. I have a big heart. Instead of trying to hold the tears, I just let it happen or else I can’t say what I’m reading. I’m ok with that. I don’t think I’ve seen other readers cry much, but lately I started to see the students get teared up. Crying is a great way to release energy whatever it is.
What it matters to me is how the readees or healees are after the readings or healings. They look glowing, lighter, certain, etc. Even though I’m the one who teared up and not the healees, still they release what I read and teared up for. Otherwise, I probably won’t sense that overwhelming energy from them.
I just thought of writing about this because some singer’s singing shakes my heart and vibration. So, I would say it’s a very different way but similar matter to my readings or healings. Anywho, it’s great if you get teary or emotions get aroused because it means your energy is brought to the surface! Anywho, have a wonderful week! 😀